Goodbye Selene or Farewell, The Moon

I hate to be an alarmist, but...THE MOON IS MOVING AWAY FROM THE EARTH AT AN ALARMINGLY RAPID RATE EVERY YEAR!!!

Yes, my friends, the above statement is true, except that the "alarming" part, maybe.  You see, I watched educational, scientific television last night and learned many interesting facts about Selene, that is our own Moon.  One of those interesting facts was that scientists (having nothing better to do on a Saturday night, I suppose) somehow figured out that the moon is moving away from the earth at the rather rapid speed of 1.5 inches per year.  This means that in only about...okay, I personally cannot do the math, but I know it will be several hundred thousand years, the moon, or Selene, as the ancient Greeks called her, will move to a point at which it will no longer influence the planetary movements of our Mother Earth. 

It kind of reminds me of that old song..."in the year 10010, I'm never gonna' see the tide rise again."  Okay, I was paraphrasing.  But, according to those same scientists, as the moon draws further away from the earth, strange things will begin to happen.  For instance, the earth's axis is currently tilted at approximately a twenty degree angle (I just love it when I get to throw "approximately" into a sentence!).  The moon's gravitational attraction is the force that keeps this approximate angle so... approximate.  Apparently the twenty degree tilt is just what our earth needs to keep the seasons regular. Unfortunately, without the moon's push-pull motion on the earth, the attitude of the earth's axis would become chaotic.  The seasons would then become unpredictable, the poles would shift, and Ron Paul would be elected president of the United States.

And still the moon is receding farther and farther into space.  The loss of the moon's influence on the earth, while not so dramatic as "global warming," is actually far more permanent and, unfortunately, far more deadly.  As mentioned, the seasons would go crazy, but also the ocean's tides would be most adversely effected.  For instance, the tides are now fairly regular, ebbing and flowing at approximately each twelve hours.  As the moon leaves it earthly orbit, the tides would change over time.  The ebb and flow of the tides would eventually cease.  Of course we could only wonder whether to the tides would be high or low when they ceased.  I am betting on high, as this would make the disaster more disastrous.   As the scientists demonstrated, the United States would lose the West Coast (down-side?), the East Coast (good -bye New Jersey), and the Gulf Coast, with the shoreline ending up many miles inland.   Just imagine, you could wake up in your Chicago hotel, walk out to the sidewalk, and then hold your nose and jump into the Atlantic!

A sad fact about the loss of the moon's influence on the earth is that the days would lengthen.  Well, maybe that is not sad.  In fact I have heard several people over the years say that they wished there were more than twenty-four hours in a day.  These people may just get their wishes.  Apparently the moon's gravitational effect on the earth somehow influences the length of our earth day.  Apparently I must have gone to the refrigerator for a snack just about here, because I somehow missed out on exactly how the moon, or the lack thereof, would lengthen our days.  Suffice it to say, though, that the nights would increase in length in correspondence with the days.  This might have severe ramifications for those who might be caught working the "graveyard" shift when the moon finally pulled out of its orbit around the earth. 

I could go on...but I think I have made my point.  The various doomsday scenarios such as "global warming" or the dreaded date 12/21/12 simply pale in comparison the impending loss of our lunar partner.  What with the chaotic earth axis, the loss of the oceans' tidal motion, and the really long days and nights we could expect, I am pretty sure we would all forget about that Mayan calendar that came to an abrupt end so many centuries ago.  And if you are the type that likes to worry about each new "crisis" that is unveiled on the news with frightening regularity, you would no doubt LOVE to add the looming loss of the lunar satellite to your growing inventory of unhappy endings.  So...you heard it from me, and you have been warned, it is time to say "Goodbye Selene! or Farewell! the Moon!.