Grandpaism...or...A Night With Baby Baby

As I write this the dishes are stacking in the sink and there are a couple of other things I could be doing as well; however, I have to take this time out to write about grandpaism.  According to spellcheck and to any reputable dictionary, "grandpaism" is not a real word.  Well, it is now...I just invented it.

So, what IS grandpaism?  It is the new way one looks at life after graduating from being a parent to becoming a grandparent, and all the many new ways the fledgling grandparent is blessed by being the recipient of a grandchild.  I think that is a pretty good definition, yet it is so dry and does not begin to convey the feelings involved.

I can recall when I was a younger person, prior to getting married, and even after marriage, then as a young parent, that I thought to myself, "So you're a grandparent.  Big deal."  Friends or relatives would tell me, "I've just become a grandfather!!"  Sure I congratulated the person and was happy for them, but I was not all that excited.  "Yeah, that's great, Fred.  Hey, did you see the big game Saturday!"

But then came Baby Baby (the pet name I gave to my little Leah Marie).  A few months before this blessed event, Child B married her boyfriend, who is now Child B1.  We did not lose a daughter, we gained a son.  That saying is so very true.  Anyway, Child B and Child B1 produced Baby Baby, and gave my lovely bride and I perhaps the greatest gift they could have given, besides being born themselves.  I know this is true because I was there for Baby Baby's birth, at a local "birthing center."

Baby Baby was a true gift, and not just because she was born to her mother and father, and by extension to us, her grandparents.  Baby Baby was a gift because Child B's labor transformed from routine into, very literally, a life or death struggle, with both mother and baby in danger.  Without going into a lot of detail, it will suffice to say that the "easy and carefree" birth hawked by the birthing center propaganda was not the case here.  I am being completely honest when I say that Child B's labor, at first routine, stretched into a trial of grit and love that lasted well over forty hours.  Child B was in such pain at times that Father of Child B was literally held back from breaking into the room and forcing the midwife to stabilize my daughter and get her to a hospital NOW!  But finally we heard that little baby's first cry!  In that instant I (and the other three grandparents) were transformed.

In seconds we were in love with this little creature, and we were so relieved that Child B was out of danger, and her pains were over.  Child B1 was now a father, too!  But for the newly crowned Poppee (me), to say I was in heaven does not even cover the way I was feeling, the emotions.  Even now, nearly two years later, I cannot adequately put it in words.  Baby Baby is twenty-months old now, but her birth seems like only yesterday.  My lovely bride and I are happy beyond words, so grateful to Child B and Child B1 for bringing Baby Baby into this world.

A few months ago, when Baby Baby could hardly talk, and her vocabulary was limited, I remember how that day she told me very clearly, "I love you."  I was so happy, again beyond words.  I think that grandparents, not being busy with both parenting and taking care of all the other things in life, are more able to step back and watch the child grow and blossom day by day.  I know that when I was a new parent, I missed some of this joy because at that time we were living spoon to mouth, and the month outlasted the paycheck by days.  In a way, having a grandchild gives the grandparent a chance to relive those days, or at least to remember those days, to hold and love a new child that in so many ways is the picture of her mother and father when they were the same age.

I guess I am writing about this because I have had so many special moments with Baby Baby, and last night I had another.  I realize now that if that someone had told me about this thing a few years ago, I would not have understood how special this moment was.  But grandpaism opened my eyes to the moment and the meaning. 

Baby Baby was sitting in the lounger up in my lovely bride's lap, which is one of Baby Baby's favorite places to be.  But Honey (my lovely bride) has a certain special effect on children, Baby Baby included.  You see, any child who crawls up into Honey's lap within a few minutes begins to suffer from the "Honey Effect."  The Honey Effect causes the child in Honey's lap to suddenly begin to feel drowsy.  Amplifying this drowsiness, Honey wraps the child in a fleecy blanket, and within minutes it is all over.  The unsuspecting child is suddenly in La La Land, all other plans for playing or staying up late...futile.

Baby Baby, having been around for twenty months now, is fully aware of the Honey Effect.  Although Honey's lap is one of Baby Baby's favorite places, she has learned some devious ways to resist the Honey Effect.  For instance, if Honey wraps Baby Baby in the fleecy blanket, and Baby Baby is not particularly "ready for bed," she will kick both feet out from under the blanket, and then wriggle her arms out of the blanket.  Another anti-Honey Effect technique Baby Baby uses is to evacuate from Honey's lap when all other means to fight off the Honey Effect fail.

Last night was one of those occasions where Baby Baby realized that she was loosing the Honey Effect battle.  Not being ready for bed yet, Baby Baby employed the "evacuate Honey's Lap" technique, very effectively playing Poppee.  Baby Baby looked into my eyes, gave me a really cute Baby Baby grin, and stretched out her arms to me.  Of course I could not resist, nor did I particularly try.  I reached out for Baby Baby and placed her in my lap.  Baby Baby then said, "Bus?"  This is her way of asking to watch the music video "The Wheels On The Bus Go Round and Round."  So I opened the computer and turned on YouTube.  I selected the appropriate video, and soon "Bus" was playing.

Baby Baby loves singing, and really loves singing along with the video.  There are several songs on the video besides "Bus."  Baby Baby settled back against my chest and began singing along.  After "Bus" there was the "ABC Song," "Humpty Dumpty," and eventually "Ten Little Kids All Laying In The Bed."  Baby Baby was singing along with this song, about the sixth song on the video, when all the sudden and totally without warning, her cute little head slumped forward onto her chest.  She was sound asleep just like that!  Singing one second, viewing her eyelids the next.  And Poppee was so Happy!

Baby Baby is so comfortable with Poppee that she can go to sleep against my chest even though her favorite songs are playing.  I cannot express the feelings and emotions, the happiness, that ran through my mind and my soul in that moment.  It was such a simple thing, yet so full of love and happiness.  I sat and rocked Baby Baby for nearly an hour.  Finally she began to stir a little, and I knew the nap was coming to an end.  Baby Baby yawned, stretched, and gave us that Hi! I am back in the world smile.  And then it was time to take her back to Child B and Child B1 at the dojo.  My how the evening flew!

Baby Baby and I sang and talked all the way back to her parents' business, a twenty-mile drive from our home.  But the distance and time passed so quickly.  Upon nearing the dojo Baby Baby began happily yelling, "Mommie, Mommie!"  I said, "Yes, Mommy and Daddy are waiting for you."  So we parked and went inside.  Baby Baby immediately ran to Mommy and there was a happy reunion.  I left a short time later, but not before getting a sloppy kiss on the check from Baby Baby.   Oh yeah, I hugged Child B and shook Child B1's hand.  Another joy-filled night with Baby Baby came to an end.  It was a much quieter and longer ride back home.

Grandparents are truly blessed, and the children may never realize the great gift of love they have given their parents...until the children get their own grandchildren.  Then grandpaism will set in, and the new grandparents will wonder how they ever lived without grandchildren.

May God bless you all ...

And God Bless America

The Last Watch: Detective Jerry Walker - Little Elm PD, Little Elm, Texas - 17 Jan 2017

This blog is in honor of Detective Jerry Walker, Little Elm Police Department.  Detective Walker died of wounds he suffered when an armed suspect fled into his residence, then immediately opened fired from one of his windows.  Detective Walker was struck twice and was airlifted from the scene; unfortunately, he succumbed to his wounds several hours later.

Detective Walker was a member of the Little Elm SWAT unit and was one of the first SWAT officers on the scene.  Walker and another officer were only a few yards apart when a single shot was fired from the house, although the officers were not able to ascertain from where the shot was fired.  A few seconds later several shots were fired from the house, and the other officer saw Walker collapse.  Several officers immediately rescued Detective Walker and moved him out of area.

Detective Walker leaves behind his wife and four children, along with all his colleagues at Little Elm.  In reading about Detective Walker today, I learned that he was well respected in Little Elm and the surrounding area.  He was a community-oriented police officer and was loved by the school children in Little Elm.  He made presentations at the schools and influenced older students to become police officers.  The Police Chief said of Detective Walker that he was a model police officer.

Detective Walker is the first Texas Peace Officer to be killed in the line of duty this year.  Across the nation five police officers have died or been killed in the line of duty this year, including at least two who were targeted because they were police officers, and were ambushed.  It is shaping up to be another dangerous year for police officers.

My prayers go out to Detective Walker's family and his colleagues, and to the families of the other officers as well.  May God comfort all of them as the shock wears off and the reality sets in, that their loved ones are gone from this life.  Life will go on for those left behind, but the emptiness left by the deaths of these officers will not be filled in this lifetime.

May God watch over the police and correctional officers around the nation...

And may God Bless America.

Hank Williams, RIP, January 1, 1953

I was so busy visiting and attending parties during the first week or so of the new year that I did not post anything until January 12th.  I was in no condition to post on January 1st, not because of anything I had done on December 31st, but because my lovely bride and I had miles and miles to go before we slept, as it were.  One of the topics I intended to blog about was that Hank Williams left this life on January 1, 1953.  Since I did not post on New Year's Day, I will post this today.

My love of Hank Williams and his songs did not start with any of the "fad" movies that come out every decade or so, and each time, garner a new generation of Hank Williams fans.  Many of these fans like the "movie version" of Hank Williams, but when they hear actual recordings of Hank, they gulp and look around sheepishly, thinking to themselves "HE sounded like THAT?!" Next day they are not Hank Williams fans anymore. 

I was about four or five years old when I consciously began liking Hank Williams and his style of country music.  My dad was a country music singer and songwriter (you have never heard him on the radio, trust me) who had a huge collection of country vinyl.  And a big part of the stack was Hank Williams.  The very first song of Hank's that I really liked a lot was a song I thought was so funny.  It was about a guy who had to stay out in the dog house with his "little dog" because the man's wife was a little upset with him.  "She's changed the lock on my front door...my door key don't work no more..."  Now, at that tender age I did not understand the true crux of the song, I just thought it was funny that Hank had to sleep out there with his dog, so "slide it on over...move it on over!" "move over little dog, 'cause a Big Dog's movin' in!"  Such was the mind of this child!

As I got a little older and began to understand the meaning of the songs, I really loved his songs like "Cold, Cold Heart," "Your Cheatin' Heart," and "Ramblin' Man."  To this day I still love all these songs, and many others, including "Hey Good Lookin'," "Kaw-liga," and "Settin' the Woods On Fire."  There were so many good ones, like "I Saw The Light," "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry," and "Half As Much As I Love You," just to name some of my favorites.

Hank Williams packed a lot of living into twenty-nine short years, a lot of loving, and lot of losing love.  In the few years that he was a singer, he was able to influence country music so much that even in this new century Hank Williams is still larger than life.  Singers that rose to heights before him, and singers that came after him, were touched and changed in some way by his music.  And like many a singer, Hank Williams lived out the songs that he sang.

I confess that there was one of his songs that I did not like so much until recently, a song called "The Lost Highway."  I am not sure why I did not relate to this particular song as a young man, when I liked most of his music so much.  But there was something about this song and the way Hank sang it that made me shy away, to put the words out of my mind.  That was a long time ago, when

"I was just a lad, nearly twenty two...
Neither good nor bad, just a kid like you..."

Three decades later, and I almost think Hank sang this song about me.  The road I have taken through life has, in some ways, not been the road I would have preferred.  There have been some bad decisions, some train wrecks, along the way.  There has been a lot of hurt and pain that I caused.  I had no intentions, but I started down that Lost Highway.

Listen to these words in your mind:

 I'm a rollin' stone all alone and lost
For a life of sin I have paid the cost
When I pass by all the people say
Just another guy on the lost highway

Just a deck of cards and a jug of wine
And a woman's lies makes a life like mine
On the day we met, I went astray
I started rolling down that lost highway

I was just a lad, nearly twenty-two
Neither good nor bad, just a kid like you
And now I'm lost, too late to pray
Lord I paid the cost, on the lost highway

Now boys don't start to ramblin' round
On this road of sin or you're sorrow bound
Take my advice or you'll curse the day
You started rollin' down that lost highway


Hank Williams, in fact, did not write this song.  Another country star, Leon Payne, wrote the song and released it in 1948.  Leon was a great song-writer, but not that great of a singer.  Possibly he wrote this song out of wisdom, or possibly he wrote it out of his own experience.  But there is no doubt that it came along at just the right time to be picked up by Hank Williams.  Hank released this song in 1950, and though he did not write it, he surely lived it.  And he sincerely meant all the words he sang, especially the last verse.

When Hank Williams released his cover of "The Lost Highway," he had only two and a half years left on this earth.  Did he somehow know his time was short?  Had he learned somehow that he would not live to see his thirtieth birthday?  I don't know, but his life was hard, mostly because of his own decisions.  He chose to drink excessively, he chose to use drugs, and he chose to live a life that strained and broke his love's heart.  Miss Audrie loved him but found it so hard to live with him.

Whether or not Hank had some sort of premonition about the end of his life, he made "The Lost Highway" his own, and it truly became the song that defined his life.  This song defines the lives of many others as well.  Now (as Hank Williams, Jr. once sang) I think I know what Hank meant when he sang about "Lost Highways."  Both Hank Jr. and I outlived Hank Sr., but neither of us will outlive Hank's music.  And if there is some advice I can offer to anyone who would be crazy enough to take it from me, it would include this:

                                      Now boys don't start to ramblin' round
                                      On this road of sin or you're sorrow bound
                                      Take my advice or you'll curse the day
                                      You started rollin' down that lost highway


So there you have it...my tribute to one of the greatest influences on country music.  Hank Williams died on January 1, 1953, over sixty years ago, and several years before I was born.  Yes, Hank...I think I know what you meant when you sang about lost highways...

RIP, Hank Williams...

And may God Bless America

A Mundane Sunday, A Winter Thunderstorm, Family, and A Semi-Pleasant $%#-Mart Experience

A winter thunderstorm, but we ventured out into it anyway because we had to deliver a care package to Child B. After surviving a horrendous weather blitz on Hwy 191 we made it to Child B's residence. In the meantime Child B, believing we had been waylaid somewhere by the storm, was calling all our cell phones in a panic. I tried to answer her but hit the hang up button instead. My lovely bride did not hear her phone so she did not answer, nor did she reply to any of the "text" messages. Finally Child B got in touch with Child A. Child A told her we should have been to her house by then, so he did not calm Child B's nerves at all. Finally, after much delay, we arrived at Child B's home. Child B, in an ironic reversal of roles, began chiding her PARENTS for not letting her know we were safe, not calling her when we got to town, etc. It was cute. Plus, it made me think that maybe, just maybe, Child A and/or Child B will care for their aged parents some day. At least they may visit us when we are finally confined to one of those "assisted living centers." When I went to Child B's front door, she was standing there waiting for the delivery, and YES!!, there was Baby Baby coming to meet me. Of course her first words were "Honey! Honey!" which is what she calls my lovely bride, her grandmother. Not seeing Honey, Baby Baby then acknowledged me (Poppee) and wanted me to hold her. I picked her up then gave Child B the precious item I was delivering. Baby Baby was fascinated by the rain (she has not seen very much rain in her few months in this world)and was saying "Water! Water!" Then she saw Honey in the pickup. It was over then! She saw Honey and immediately turned to her mother, Child B, and said, "Bye! Bye!" I put her down on the floor and she started wailing! I told her, "Baby Baby! I am so sorry but you can't go with us!." But I had to pick her up, her little face was so said. Instantly she was happy, telling her mother "Bye, Bye!" I put her down again. Baby Baby started crying again. I looked out at the pickup. Honey was crying too! And water was falling out of the sky. Things were sad all over. So I told Child B goodbye and apologized profusely to Baby Baby that I could not take her with me. She set up a wail that was probably heard for blocks around. Gadzooks! So my lovely bride and I drove back to Midland for a pleasant lunch at CiCi's, followed by a semi-pleasant experience shopping at $%#-Mart. But a funny thing happened on the way to the grocery section. Did I mention it was raining? My lovely bride requested that I let her out at the door, then go park the truck, then FIND her in the grocery section. Why not just wait for me at the door? I don't know why...I just knew that was not going to happen. So I parked the truck and hurried back into $%#-Mart. Now for the debate: Do I actually look in the grocery area FIRST, or do I check Women's Wear or the Baby Department? I took a really BIG CHANCE and went to the grocery section first. As I arrived in the main aisle of the grocery section, here is where the "something funny" happened. I saw three other men, whom I assumed to be husbands, also looking for their wives. How do I know, you ask? Well, funny that you should. All of these men were walking rather slowly and peering down each aisle in the same manner in which I was walking slowly and peering down each aisle. We were all HOPING that we would see our respective brides before they left the grocery section and went to divers places such as Women's Wear or the Baby Department. I was the lucky winner today. I actually found my lovely bride on the first trip through the grocery aisle! That event and the short grocery list combined to make this a fairly semi-pleasant experience at $%#-Mart. So this was a very mundane Sunday, except for the winter thunderstorm, the very short visit with Child B and Baby Baby, and the semi-pleasant experience shopping at $%#-Mart.

Belated Happy New Year and First Blog

I waited twelve days into the new year before posting my first blog.  There were several reasons I did this.  One, I was still in holiday mode from having four different Christmases in three different towns.  It was great!  So good to see all the loved ones again.  Then after a short work week, during which I remained in holiday mode, it was time for New Year's day and more visiting.  Then the next weekend we had to travel again to Central Texas both for business and pleasure. 

Two, working at the hospital is such a see saw situation.  By January 9,  I was back to work and definitely not in holiday mode anymore.  Working at a hospital is a roller coaster ride, even if one is not directly involved in medical treatment of sick or injured persons.  Helping deal with the loved ones and survivors has its own stresses.  Then jumping from helping people to regulating people's behavior is another roller coaster ride.  By the end of each day I have been through the emotional wringer, leaving my creativity largely non-creative. So, at times I did not even think about blogging, or if I did, I just could not generate another post.

Three, I am once again involved in a literary project, and another SECRET project as well.  I cannot tell you about the secret one yet; suffice to say it will be very exciting...or it will be a flop and die before it is even really born.  But more about both of those things later.  The point is, another distraction.

Finally, I have embarked on a do or die exercise and life-change program that will see me back to a size and weight I have only dreamed about since at least 1992.  I am participating in and working this program every day.  If I cannot work the program and a blog into the same night, and still get to bed at reasonable hour, I forego the blog, not the exercise. 

All of these things add up to a guy not working his blog.  But blogging is important to me and I still want to do it.  Perhaps the topics of my blog posts will not be nearly so concerned with politics.  I have had the pleasure of adopting a lifestyle more akin to that described by Dan Millman in his Peaceful Warrior semi-fictional works.  And I have taken to heart the words of the Good Book as well, to help me remember two things: one of should be IN the world, but not OF the world, and, it is more blessed to give than to receive.  At this point in my life I realize these are more worthy ambitions than trying to take hold of that elusive million dollars that I may or may not ever have. 

The only good advice I can give now, having reached the point where I am "older and wiser," is that life is not a sure thing.  I mean, we all will come to the end of our lives, but for each of us it will be on our own appointed day.  The tricky thing is we cannot know when the day will be.  So, it is very important to live as a Peaceful Warrior, not trouble-seeking, but strong in times of trouble, not seeking wealth above everything, but managing our wealth (money included) so that we are rich whether or not we EVER have a seven-figure income.  And living your best life regardless of all the political troubles, social troubles, and personal troubles we all have.

Life is not a sure thing, so live your life in full, do the things you want to do, and need to do...and realize that you probably don't have time to accomplish everything you want, but all of us have all the time we were allotted by the Creator.  I intend to use mine well, even in the simple things, like blogging.  I do not think I have any earth-shattering, profound words of wisdom to offer, but I do take pleasure in offering interesting things, surprising things, historical things, and even humorous stories about the things that happen in my life. 

I am so happy to have you, the handful of loyal readers.  I don't covet those that have blogs that get thousands or millions of hits each day, I am just happy for those who visit these pages  So I wish a happy and prosperous New Year to all.  There will be troubles yes, but there will be many pleasures and treasures as well.

May all of you be well
And may God Bless America