My friends, I have to tell you that I spend a lot of time reading newspapers and perusing the Internet, sometimes for gainful purposes, and sometimes just looking for interesting things. I search many sites for news of the weird, check mainstream and "alternative" sources in search of the latest political conspiracies and scandals. government cover-ups. and general mayhem. So how did I miss this one?! And it actually happened right here in the Republic of Texas, to boot!
I first got wind of this story earlier today while running some errands. Actually I was buying new tires and got bored while waiting for the installation to be completed. Finally, to ward off the boredom I picked up a magazine, which will go un-named in this blog. When I read this little news byte, I was immediately skeptical. This incident was WAY TOO "REDNECKY" to be true! Well, far be it from me to simply publish something because it was in print. It's not like I saw it on the Internet, for goodness sake! So I did me some checking, and here is what I found in some of the more reliable newspapers in north and east Texas.
I learned that this incident indisputably REALLY DID HAPPEN on March 22, 2013 near Texarkana, Texas. A woman who lives near the small towns of Liberty (not to be confused with incorporated Liberty near Beaumont) and Eylau, close to Texarkana, was out doing yard work late that evening. While clearing some brush from the side of her house, the woman flushed a snake into the open. Unlike my lovely bride, THIS woman did not scream in the upper octaves it is humanly possible to reach then yell, "SNAKE! SNAKE!" No indeed. This East Texas female grabbed an apparently convenient can of gasoline and baptized the poor reptile with the fuel. THEN she yelled for her son.
The son, apparently prepared for all emergencies (even gasoline soaked serpents), rushed to his mother's aid. The snake, confused and blinded by the gasoline, apparently had not slithered very far, because the mother was standing over the poor thing and waving at her son. The son, seeing that the snake was pre-soaked with car fuel, produced some matches and dropped a few on the hapless reptile. The snake immediately burst into flames. Blinded and confused or not, the snake, apparently catching the scent of burning wieners, commenced to slithering very rapidly through the brush outside the woman's house while trying to escape the flames.
Unfortunately, during March, East Texas, like West Texas, was clasped in the jaws of a five-year long drought. That being the case, everywhere the flaming snake slithered, the brush immediately burst into flames. Soon a goodly portion of the woman's yard was on fire, and yes...the flames travelled directly to her house. Maybe because they were engaged in trying to find the snake flam beau, the redneck mother and her son did not at first notice that their house was ablaze. Finally though, the flaming wall and tongues of fire emerging from the roof attracted their attention. How do I know? Here is a small section of the 9-11 call transcript:
(Woman yelling excitedly): We were trying to kill a snake with fire! It done caught the house!
(Confused 9-11 operator): Caught the HOUSE?
(Woman yelling excitedly): Yes! The HOUSE is on fire! Can y'all hurry, please!
I was still skeptical, but both Captain David Grable of the Bowie County Sheriff's Office and Fire Chief David Wesslehoft of the Liberty-Eylau Volunteer Fire Department confirmed to the Dallas Morning News that this really happened. The fire chief went on the explain that small animals, when aflame, have been known to ignite major wildfires.
"A mouse, for instance, will run through the brush setting small fires and even igniting other mice while trying to escape the flames.'
OK, Chief Wesslehoft, you know best.
Chief Wesslehoft, Deputy Grable, and other rescuers arrived on the scene to find the woman's house fully engulfed in flames and on the verge of collapse. The firefighters devoted their efforts to saving a neighbor's house, which had caught fire due to the heat and flames from the first home. The neighbor's home was severely damaged, while the woman and her son lost their home and everything in it. We are not told the fate of the poor snake, but I myself believe the snake probably ended up as a hot meal for a passing carnivorous beast of one kind or another.
Yes, some strange things happen in Texas. But remember, just because you read it in the paper or see it on the Internet, it is not necessarily true; however, when you read it in both the Dallas Morning News and the Austin American Statesmen, and the facts agree, you can be secure in the belief that this probably did really happen. And both Deputy Grable and Fire Chief Wesslehoft say so.
One more thing to remember. Never try to kill a snake with gasoline and a match while the burn ban is in effect in Bowie County, Texas.
I do not know how I missed this story last March. I must have been sleeping HARD to miss this one!
Well that's it. Y'all come back, now. Y'hear?
I first got wind of this story earlier today while running some errands. Actually I was buying new tires and got bored while waiting for the installation to be completed. Finally, to ward off the boredom I picked up a magazine, which will go un-named in this blog. When I read this little news byte, I was immediately skeptical. This incident was WAY TOO "REDNECKY" to be true! Well, far be it from me to simply publish something because it was in print. It's not like I saw it on the Internet, for goodness sake! So I did me some checking, and here is what I found in some of the more reliable newspapers in north and east Texas.
I learned that this incident indisputably REALLY DID HAPPEN on March 22, 2013 near Texarkana, Texas. A woman who lives near the small towns of Liberty (not to be confused with incorporated Liberty near Beaumont) and Eylau, close to Texarkana, was out doing yard work late that evening. While clearing some brush from the side of her house, the woman flushed a snake into the open. Unlike my lovely bride, THIS woman did not scream in the upper octaves it is humanly possible to reach then yell, "SNAKE! SNAKE!" No indeed. This East Texas female grabbed an apparently convenient can of gasoline and baptized the poor reptile with the fuel. THEN she yelled for her son.
The son, apparently prepared for all emergencies (even gasoline soaked serpents), rushed to his mother's aid. The snake, confused and blinded by the gasoline, apparently had not slithered very far, because the mother was standing over the poor thing and waving at her son. The son, seeing that the snake was pre-soaked with car fuel, produced some matches and dropped a few on the hapless reptile. The snake immediately burst into flames. Blinded and confused or not, the snake, apparently catching the scent of burning wieners, commenced to slithering very rapidly through the brush outside the woman's house while trying to escape the flames.
Unfortunately, during March, East Texas, like West Texas, was clasped in the jaws of a five-year long drought. That being the case, everywhere the flaming snake slithered, the brush immediately burst into flames. Soon a goodly portion of the woman's yard was on fire, and yes...the flames travelled directly to her house. Maybe because they were engaged in trying to find the snake flam beau, the redneck mother and her son did not at first notice that their house was ablaze. Finally though, the flaming wall and tongues of fire emerging from the roof attracted their attention. How do I know? Here is a small section of the 9-11 call transcript:
(Woman yelling excitedly): We were trying to kill a snake with fire! It done caught the house!
(Confused 9-11 operator): Caught the HOUSE?
(Woman yelling excitedly): Yes! The HOUSE is on fire! Can y'all hurry, please!
I was still skeptical, but both Captain David Grable of the Bowie County Sheriff's Office and Fire Chief David Wesslehoft of the Liberty-Eylau Volunteer Fire Department confirmed to the Dallas Morning News that this really happened. The fire chief went on the explain that small animals, when aflame, have been known to ignite major wildfires.
"A mouse, for instance, will run through the brush setting small fires and even igniting other mice while trying to escape the flames.'
OK, Chief Wesslehoft, you know best.
Chief Wesslehoft, Deputy Grable, and other rescuers arrived on the scene to find the woman's house fully engulfed in flames and on the verge of collapse. The firefighters devoted their efforts to saving a neighbor's house, which had caught fire due to the heat and flames from the first home. The neighbor's home was severely damaged, while the woman and her son lost their home and everything in it. We are not told the fate of the poor snake, but I myself believe the snake probably ended up as a hot meal for a passing carnivorous beast of one kind or another.
Yes, some strange things happen in Texas. But remember, just because you read it in the paper or see it on the Internet, it is not necessarily true; however, when you read it in both the Dallas Morning News and the Austin American Statesmen, and the facts agree, you can be secure in the belief that this probably did really happen. And both Deputy Grable and Fire Chief Wesslehoft say so.
One more thing to remember. Never try to kill a snake with gasoline and a match while the burn ban is in effect in Bowie County, Texas.
I do not know how I missed this story last March. I must have been sleeping HARD to miss this one!
Well that's it. Y'all come back, now. Y'hear?
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