My lovely bride and I arrived in Baltimore Thursday night, and what with the time change, jet lag, and all, I did not go to bed until 1 AM, Baltimore time (midnight Texas time). My lovely bride, being much smarter, hit the sack three hours earlier. So, when the alarm sounded at 6 AM, I was not ready to arise with the sun. Unfortunately, we had to get to Washington D.C., and we wanted to get there fairly early, so that meant catching the local train at 8:15. This train ride was, by the way, the second train ride of my life, other than the small, scale model train that used to take children around Cameron Park in Waco. So, today's ride was an interesting experience.
The nice concierge at our hotel told us exactly how to get to the light rail train only three blocks from the hotel. My lovely bride had me listen to the directions so that we could be sure to get there without getting lost on the way. MISTAKE! I promptly got us lost on the way to the train. A three block walk may not seem THAT complicated, but remember, there are FOUR directions in which one can walk those three blocks, and only ONE of those directions is correct. So, I immediately led us off in the wrong direction. My lovely bride asked me if I was positive we were going in the right direction. I told her that "of course I was positive." For some reason, my spouse immediately stopped a passer-by and asked for directions. Here I would like to say two things. First, I would NEVER have asked for directions once I was lost, even though that would be the best thing to do. Second, this particular young man resembled someone I thought I had seen on the FBI's most wanted list. I tried to lead my wife away immediately, but she instead walked over to the somewhat dangerous looking guy and, yes...., asked for directions. (HA!...it turned out I was taking us generally in the right direction, although we would have missed the train because I was about to take us past a building that would have concealed the light rail station. ( Oops.) By the way, apparently there is no turntable on the light rail. We literally BACKED all the way to Union Station, sometimes at nearly 70 miles per hour!
So we got on the light rail and rode to Union Station, Baltimore. When we left the train and entered Union Station, I once again got accurate directions from a railroad employee. Once again I led us to the next train, in accordance with the new directions. Unfortunately I had led us in the complete opposite direction so that we ended up on the wrong side of the boarding platform. Luckily my lovely bride pointed out that we were on the wrong side of the platform, so we were able to climb back up the escalators, run across the walkover bridge, and get back down to the correct platform and STILL not miss the train to DC. And, finally we arrived at the Smithsonian Institution.
The first thing I observed was that the Smithsonian is not just one large building. In fact there are several large buildings spread across a couple hundred acres, it seems. Fortunately there are signs posted periodically so that I could see what exhibits were housed in what buildings, and these were normally in buildings I had passed two or three blocks earlier. So we spent a little time backtracking to the places we wanted to go. The Air and Space Museum was our first stop. Oh, here is a free pointer if you should ever visit the Smithsonian. They open at TEN AM, not 9:58, 9:59, and not 9:599999999999999...they open at TEN. I also observed, and pass this on for free as well, that if a person tries hard enough to get in before 10:00 AM, a large police officer (by large I mean retired from a pro-football offensive line!) comes out the door and inquires as to why said person wants in before TEN. The person in question walked quickly away so I never learned why the person wanted in early, but I did realize that 10 AM on the dot was just fine by me.
My lovely bride and I toured the Flight Museum and, of course, found many things of interest. Firstly, I got to play with a little model airplane that was attached to a small wind tunnel. This little gadget allows a person to control the basic flight characteristics such as lift, banking, pitch, and yaw (yes, this is really a word!) by using controls that actually operate the ailerons, elevators, and rudder. The demonstration lasts about thirty seconds, then one is supposed to surrender the device to the next kid in line. It was not until some poor little boy's mother snidely remarked that an old man was hogging the flight trainer that I realized I should probably move on. My lovely bride was also nowhere to be seen, so this was another indication that I had stayed at one exhibit for too long.
I found my bride edging her way out of the school kids' section and into the larger exhibit area, so I followed her cue. Outside on the main floor, and close to the entrance, was the space capsule that famed astronaut, and later United States senator, John Glenn piloted as he orbited the earth. I would like to say here that I did not realize how SMALL these capsules were. The chair portion of the capsule was smaller than a cheap #$%-Mart lawn chair. I am pretty sure that once a person finally contorted and compressed himself into the folded shape necessary to enter the capsule and sit on the chair, that person could pretty much not move again until the space flight was over. The Mercury flights were sometimes only a few hours long, but I suspect the poor astronaut could not move or stand for at least an hour after being pried out of the capsule by those helpful Navy guys that rig the capsule for recovery onto the aircraft carrier. Even more amazing was the heat shields on these capsules. There places on some of the capsules where the heat shields had burned completely away. I bet the astronauts had to rub aloe vera gel on various parts of their anatomy upon reentry.
There was so much to see in the Air and Space Museum that I cannot write it all here. Those beautiful bi-planes, World War II - era planes, the pioneering and modern jets, all were so interesting. I felt awed to see the Spirit of St. Louis hanging next to one of the first jet planes to break the sound barrier. My lovely bride was amazed by one exhibit...it was scale model of Howard Hughes' Spruce Goose, and next that was twin-engine DC-3, built to the same scale. At least six DC-3's would have fit on the Spruce Goose, yet these airplanes seem so big when one stands beside them. Next we went to an Imax movie dealing with the Hubble Telescope.
I would like to preface this story with some vital need to know information, and that is that I did not sleep well (or go to bed until late) the night before. So, we go into the Imax, and pretty soon this wonderful 3-D movie starts. It deals briefly with the history of the Hubble telescope, and about the space mission in which astronauts went to the Hubble while it was in orbit, so that they could replace the warped objective mirror. Once the mirror was replaced, the telescope sent back to earth some of the most spectacular and beautiful images of the celestial bodies ever seen by mankind. Uh...except this man did not see many of those images. As those beautiful images filled the 3-D screen, the sound-track switched from narration to very celestial, and unfortunately, very relaxing music. Although I was only checking the inside of my eyelids, some people, including my lovely bride, mistakenly thought I had gone to sleep. Okay, they were not THAT mistaken. Apparently the celestial images I saw were mostly in my mind, until I was rudely awakened by a hard jab to the right ribs. Apparently my lovely bride had become certain that I was sleeping due to noises that sounded to her like snoring. Anyway, I had apparently missed most of the show, because when I opened my eyes, the lovely celestial bodies had been replaced by the rolling credits of the movie production staff. So, that was the tour of the Air and Space Museum.
It being lunch time, we left the Smithsonian and walked a little further downtown. I need not mention that my lovely bride was a little irritated with me for going to sleep during such a spectacular show, but she did not bear ill will for me very long. Maybe hunger outweighed the need to chide me for that indiscretion. Anyway, as we strolled along on the streets of Washington, D.C. looking for a place to dine, I saw a sign and nearly could not believe my eyes. So I put my glasses back on and read the sign again. Sure enough, it said "Hill Country Ribs." Now I know we were halfway across the world from Texas, but there is only ONE REASON a place would be called Hill Country Ribs! So, ignoring all the Indian, Thai, Irish, IHOP, and other ethnic restaurants, I dragged my lovely bride with me to Hill Country. There, right on the outside wall was the Lone Star flag in all its glory! And the smell of the Hill Country rolled out the door and off the roof vents. Barbeque! All the fixin's plus pictures of Austin, Lockhart, and the Hill Country. Who would have thought it?! By the way, you should try the baked beans made with burnt ends. Wow, hot and spicy, with melt in your mouth beef! It was a balanced meal with a nice helping of brisket in one hand and beans and cornbread in the other. I love Texas-style balanced meals! Then, back to the Smithsonian.
Did I mention it was cold? I guess it was not really cold by Baltimore standards, but it was cool with 100% humidity, which meant that my joints were all rubbing bone against bone and were freezing. But still it was a good day, and not snowing or anything that severe. We made our way back to Smithsonian complex and headed toward the American Museum of Natural History. BUT...then Sweetie decided we wanted to go to the Smithsonian Castle. I have to admit, I was intrigued by the fact that there was a castle within the complex, and I was curious what was inside. It turns out that the castle serves as an information center and also features very small tidbits of the various collections housed at the Smithsonian, sort of an appetizer, I suppose. There is also a museum store located there.
Did you know that housed in the Castle is a collection of locks of hair of historic Americans? I would not have believed this myself, but apparently some enterprising man set out to collect hair from the prominent Americans of his day, as well as somehow to secure hair from those that had passed on early in the nation's history. George Washington's hair, for instance, is there, as is hair from President Tyler, certain military figures, and various other politicians and elites. I was curious about how the various hair samples were procured, but my lovely bride gave me a look that seemed to discourage further inquiry in this direction. Plus, by this time we needed to start making our way back to the train station, as we had a dinner date back in Baltimore. Thus ended my four hour excursion into Washington D.C.
I have to say here that I was slightly disappointed in one respect. That is that during the duration of our Washington foray, we did not see ONE SINGLE SPY. That is right! I figured that the area around the Smithsonian would be rife with spies. I mean, aren't they always meeting in the shadows of the Washington Monument, or at the steps of Lincoln's Memorial? And I did not see a single high-speed chase involving a Ferrari or Lamborghini being pursued by a caravan of shiny black Chevrolet Tahoes or Suburbans. AND I did not see Mark Harmon standing around talking to some shady character, nor did I see Jim Spader or the other guys from the Black List! So disappointing. I figured pedestrians would be constantly narrowly escaping death in the crosswalks as chases and gunfire raged through downtown. Snaps!
But, the disappointment was short-lived, Sweetie and I managed to board the correct trains and make the correct connections so that we made it back to Baltimore to our hotel. An hour later we were at the Cheesecake Factor eagerly awaiting the arrival of my lovely cousin, her daughter, and grandson. And when they arrived it was a grand reunion. Well, reunion with my cousin. But I had never met her charming daughter or the grandson so full of vim even though it was getting late. We had a good meal at the Cheesecake Factory. By the way, they make more than cheesecake. In fact, I was so full of my meal that I did not even get to sample the cheesecake. Rats. Another time, perhaps. The dinner was so fun and full of conversation, but all too soon it was time to call it a night. We said our goodbyes and collected our hugs. I am not sure how long it will be until we see these good people again, but the short time we had to visit will last until then. A short walk back to our hotel and we called it a night. Having slept through the Imax movie, I decided to go to bed at a slightly more reasonable hour tonight.
Good night Baltimore, and God Bless America
The nice concierge at our hotel told us exactly how to get to the light rail train only three blocks from the hotel. My lovely bride had me listen to the directions so that we could be sure to get there without getting lost on the way. MISTAKE! I promptly got us lost on the way to the train. A three block walk may not seem THAT complicated, but remember, there are FOUR directions in which one can walk those three blocks, and only ONE of those directions is correct. So, I immediately led us off in the wrong direction. My lovely bride asked me if I was positive we were going in the right direction. I told her that "of course I was positive." For some reason, my spouse immediately stopped a passer-by and asked for directions. Here I would like to say two things. First, I would NEVER have asked for directions once I was lost, even though that would be the best thing to do. Second, this particular young man resembled someone I thought I had seen on the FBI's most wanted list. I tried to lead my wife away immediately, but she instead walked over to the somewhat dangerous looking guy and, yes...., asked for directions. (HA!...it turned out I was taking us generally in the right direction, although we would have missed the train because I was about to take us past a building that would have concealed the light rail station. ( Oops.) By the way, apparently there is no turntable on the light rail. We literally BACKED all the way to Union Station, sometimes at nearly 70 miles per hour!
So we got on the light rail and rode to Union Station, Baltimore. When we left the train and entered Union Station, I once again got accurate directions from a railroad employee. Once again I led us to the next train, in accordance with the new directions. Unfortunately I had led us in the complete opposite direction so that we ended up on the wrong side of the boarding platform. Luckily my lovely bride pointed out that we were on the wrong side of the platform, so we were able to climb back up the escalators, run across the walkover bridge, and get back down to the correct platform and STILL not miss the train to DC. And, finally we arrived at the Smithsonian Institution.
The first thing I observed was that the Smithsonian is not just one large building. In fact there are several large buildings spread across a couple hundred acres, it seems. Fortunately there are signs posted periodically so that I could see what exhibits were housed in what buildings, and these were normally in buildings I had passed two or three blocks earlier. So we spent a little time backtracking to the places we wanted to go. The Air and Space Museum was our first stop. Oh, here is a free pointer if you should ever visit the Smithsonian. They open at TEN AM, not 9:58, 9:59, and not 9:599999999999999...they open at TEN. I also observed, and pass this on for free as well, that if a person tries hard enough to get in before 10:00 AM, a large police officer (by large I mean retired from a pro-football offensive line!) comes out the door and inquires as to why said person wants in before TEN. The person in question walked quickly away so I never learned why the person wanted in early, but I did realize that 10 AM on the dot was just fine by me.
My lovely bride and I toured the Flight Museum and, of course, found many things of interest. Firstly, I got to play with a little model airplane that was attached to a small wind tunnel. This little gadget allows a person to control the basic flight characteristics such as lift, banking, pitch, and yaw (yes, this is really a word!) by using controls that actually operate the ailerons, elevators, and rudder. The demonstration lasts about thirty seconds, then one is supposed to surrender the device to the next kid in line. It was not until some poor little boy's mother snidely remarked that an old man was hogging the flight trainer that I realized I should probably move on. My lovely bride was also nowhere to be seen, so this was another indication that I had stayed at one exhibit for too long.
I found my bride edging her way out of the school kids' section and into the larger exhibit area, so I followed her cue. Outside on the main floor, and close to the entrance, was the space capsule that famed astronaut, and later United States senator, John Glenn piloted as he orbited the earth. I would like to say here that I did not realize how SMALL these capsules were. The chair portion of the capsule was smaller than a cheap #$%-Mart lawn chair. I am pretty sure that once a person finally contorted and compressed himself into the folded shape necessary to enter the capsule and sit on the chair, that person could pretty much not move again until the space flight was over. The Mercury flights were sometimes only a few hours long, but I suspect the poor astronaut could not move or stand for at least an hour after being pried out of the capsule by those helpful Navy guys that rig the capsule for recovery onto the aircraft carrier. Even more amazing was the heat shields on these capsules. There places on some of the capsules where the heat shields had burned completely away. I bet the astronauts had to rub aloe vera gel on various parts of their anatomy upon reentry.
There was so much to see in the Air and Space Museum that I cannot write it all here. Those beautiful bi-planes, World War II - era planes, the pioneering and modern jets, all were so interesting. I felt awed to see the Spirit of St. Louis hanging next to one of the first jet planes to break the sound barrier. My lovely bride was amazed by one exhibit...it was scale model of Howard Hughes' Spruce Goose, and next that was twin-engine DC-3, built to the same scale. At least six DC-3's would have fit on the Spruce Goose, yet these airplanes seem so big when one stands beside them. Next we went to an Imax movie dealing with the Hubble Telescope.
I would like to preface this story with some vital need to know information, and that is that I did not sleep well (or go to bed until late) the night before. So, we go into the Imax, and pretty soon this wonderful 3-D movie starts. It deals briefly with the history of the Hubble telescope, and about the space mission in which astronauts went to the Hubble while it was in orbit, so that they could replace the warped objective mirror. Once the mirror was replaced, the telescope sent back to earth some of the most spectacular and beautiful images of the celestial bodies ever seen by mankind. Uh...except this man did not see many of those images. As those beautiful images filled the 3-D screen, the sound-track switched from narration to very celestial, and unfortunately, very relaxing music. Although I was only checking the inside of my eyelids, some people, including my lovely bride, mistakenly thought I had gone to sleep. Okay, they were not THAT mistaken. Apparently the celestial images I saw were mostly in my mind, until I was rudely awakened by a hard jab to the right ribs. Apparently my lovely bride had become certain that I was sleeping due to noises that sounded to her like snoring. Anyway, I had apparently missed most of the show, because when I opened my eyes, the lovely celestial bodies had been replaced by the rolling credits of the movie production staff. So, that was the tour of the Air and Space Museum.
It being lunch time, we left the Smithsonian and walked a little further downtown. I need not mention that my lovely bride was a little irritated with me for going to sleep during such a spectacular show, but she did not bear ill will for me very long. Maybe hunger outweighed the need to chide me for that indiscretion. Anyway, as we strolled along on the streets of Washington, D.C. looking for a place to dine, I saw a sign and nearly could not believe my eyes. So I put my glasses back on and read the sign again. Sure enough, it said "Hill Country Ribs." Now I know we were halfway across the world from Texas, but there is only ONE REASON a place would be called Hill Country Ribs! So, ignoring all the Indian, Thai, Irish, IHOP, and other ethnic restaurants, I dragged my lovely bride with me to Hill Country. There, right on the outside wall was the Lone Star flag in all its glory! And the smell of the Hill Country rolled out the door and off the roof vents. Barbeque! All the fixin's plus pictures of Austin, Lockhart, and the Hill Country. Who would have thought it?! By the way, you should try the baked beans made with burnt ends. Wow, hot and spicy, with melt in your mouth beef! It was a balanced meal with a nice helping of brisket in one hand and beans and cornbread in the other. I love Texas-style balanced meals! Then, back to the Smithsonian.
Did I mention it was cold? I guess it was not really cold by Baltimore standards, but it was cool with 100% humidity, which meant that my joints were all rubbing bone against bone and were freezing. But still it was a good day, and not snowing or anything that severe. We made our way back to Smithsonian complex and headed toward the American Museum of Natural History. BUT...then Sweetie decided we wanted to go to the Smithsonian Castle. I have to admit, I was intrigued by the fact that there was a castle within the complex, and I was curious what was inside. It turns out that the castle serves as an information center and also features very small tidbits of the various collections housed at the Smithsonian, sort of an appetizer, I suppose. There is also a museum store located there.
Did you know that housed in the Castle is a collection of locks of hair of historic Americans? I would not have believed this myself, but apparently some enterprising man set out to collect hair from the prominent Americans of his day, as well as somehow to secure hair from those that had passed on early in the nation's history. George Washington's hair, for instance, is there, as is hair from President Tyler, certain military figures, and various other politicians and elites. I was curious about how the various hair samples were procured, but my lovely bride gave me a look that seemed to discourage further inquiry in this direction. Plus, by this time we needed to start making our way back to the train station, as we had a dinner date back in Baltimore. Thus ended my four hour excursion into Washington D.C.
I have to say here that I was slightly disappointed in one respect. That is that during the duration of our Washington foray, we did not see ONE SINGLE SPY. That is right! I figured that the area around the Smithsonian would be rife with spies. I mean, aren't they always meeting in the shadows of the Washington Monument, or at the steps of Lincoln's Memorial? And I did not see a single high-speed chase involving a Ferrari or Lamborghini being pursued by a caravan of shiny black Chevrolet Tahoes or Suburbans. AND I did not see Mark Harmon standing around talking to some shady character, nor did I see Jim Spader or the other guys from the Black List! So disappointing. I figured pedestrians would be constantly narrowly escaping death in the crosswalks as chases and gunfire raged through downtown. Snaps!
But, the disappointment was short-lived, Sweetie and I managed to board the correct trains and make the correct connections so that we made it back to Baltimore to our hotel. An hour later we were at the Cheesecake Factor eagerly awaiting the arrival of my lovely cousin, her daughter, and grandson. And when they arrived it was a grand reunion. Well, reunion with my cousin. But I had never met her charming daughter or the grandson so full of vim even though it was getting late. We had a good meal at the Cheesecake Factory. By the way, they make more than cheesecake. In fact, I was so full of my meal that I did not even get to sample the cheesecake. Rats. Another time, perhaps. The dinner was so fun and full of conversation, but all too soon it was time to call it a night. We said our goodbyes and collected our hugs. I am not sure how long it will be until we see these good people again, but the short time we had to visit will last until then. A short walk back to our hotel and we called it a night. Having slept through the Imax movie, I decided to go to bed at a slightly more reasonable hour tonight.
Good night Baltimore, and God Bless America
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