As my readers may recall, I had to work the weekend, and the day of, July 4th, America's Independence. How ironic to be forced to work on Independence Day! But I stray...
If I had been free to travel during the holiday, I might well have chosen to attend the Wife Carrying World Championship, held this time each year in Finland. While this may not seem like a completely PC (politically correct) event, surely the fact that over 6500 people came to watch it must lend it some legitimacy. And what a way to add a little romance to his and her relationship, if the husband wins, that is... I suppose if the husband loses, the wife (girlfriend, friend, partner, whatever) is not romantically inclined for the rest of the evening. If the husband is not able to pick up the bride, he probably should have opted for a seat on the fifty yard line, so to speak.
This year, the winners of the event were Taisto Miettinen and Kristiina Haapanen, both of Finland. It seems that this is the couple's third win in a row. They were followed closely by couples from Estonia and Latvia. The race is .15 miles long, less than a quarter of a mile, but still farther than I could run, and certainly much further than I could run while carrying my wife.
Mr. Miettinen and Ms. Haapanen have perfected they own technique for the event. Instead of carrying his partner, Mr. Miettinen concentrates on running hard and fast, while Ms. Haapanen rides over his shoulder in a position similar to what you and I would call the "fireman's rescue carry." In this case, however, Ms. Haapanen is not simply along for the ride. Instead, she reaches around Mr. Miettinen with both arms and holds on to her legs. This leaves Mr. Miettinen totally free to run and wax the competition. Incidentally, one part of the course is a water obstacle that is waist deep to the average male. In spite of the water obstacle, Team Miettinen/Haapanen not only won the competition but ran the course in just over one minute. This was a spectacular finish to a very exciting and unusual race.
Usually I go to my family reunion on the 4th of July, although for the past couple of years I have been working that day. Next year I will probably miss the family reunion too, but not because I am working. No my friends, next Independence Day I plan to visit the Wife Carrying World Championship. But that is not all. In the weeks and months leading up to Independence, there will be Wife Throwing Contests held all over the world. From these contests around the world will be selected the finalists who compete in the big one...the Wife Carrying World Championship in Finland. I am sure I join most of you in hoping that the national events will be televised so that people all around the world can savor the excitement of these events as they happen.
By the way, you don't have to lose this event for your wife to get upset with you. Believe me, she will probably send you packing to the spare bedroom when you tell her that you cannot pick her up off the floor. If your wife suggests that she wants to practice, and you, the smart husband, know that you cannot possibly pick her up, I suggest that you, the smart husband, suddenly trip and sprain your ankle. In this way you can be spared from both the wife carrying and the possibility of permanent separate bedrooms just because you sort of hinted that she weighs more than she did on your wedding night. In any case, my congratulations to Mr. Miettenin and Ms. Haapanen as they bask in the glory of their third consecutive Wife Carrying World Championship title. Oh yeah... one of the prizes this couple won was the wife's weight in their favorite beer.
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