The Brown Sand Dune Lizard, The Chapparal Cock, The Pecos Assiminea Snail, Oil and Gas Drilling, and WCS Andrews

What a long title!  But you will see how these all fit together in just a moment.

This afternoon we learned that the federal Bureau of Land Management (BLAM  (my acronym)), lately concerned with the plight of the Brown Sand Dune Lizard, is now in hysteria because the Pecos Assiminea Snail http://www.wildlife.state.nm.us/conservation/share_with_wildlife/snailsandamphipod.htm  has suddenly (well, as of 2006) become endangered by oil and gas drilling operations in certain small parcels of land in the Permian Basin areas of West Texas and New Mexico.  Once again, the federal government is come to the rescue of some obscure but cute creature that will cease to exist if petroleum operations continue in the designated areas.  Protect the Sand Dune Lizard...Protect the Pecos Assiminea Snail, that is what the BLAM tells us they must do, no matter what the economic damage might be for the Petroleum Industry, and by extension, everyone in the United States.

Enter, stage left, the Chaparral Cock.  This fairly large, ungainly but fun to watch bird is known to most of us (in these here parts) as the Roadrunner.  The BLAM took all the good time and trouble to save the Brown Sand Dune Lizard from the ravages of the evil Oil Men, but unfortunately forgot about one thing: Mother Nature, disguised as the Chaparral Cock, the common everyday Roadrunner.  I certainly hope my little blog does not inadvertently spur the BLAM into action, such as ordering the wholesale destruction of all roadrunners in West Texas.  For you see, roadrunners appreciate a certain little four-legged delicacy also known as the Brown Sand Dune Lizard.  That's right, even the full might of the BLAM thrown against the  Petroleum Industry cannot save the poor Sand Dune Lizard from the voracious appetite of the Chaparral Cock.  The BLAM may not be aware yet of their little predicament, but surely they soon will be.  Do they save the Brown Sand Dune Lizard, or do they, the persona of the Mighty Fed, allow the lowly roadrunner to continue in his natural pursuit of food, i.e, eat the little creature?  Oh, Gracious, what will they do?  What WILL THEY DO?

Pan across the stage, across the plain, to a certain disgusting locale just west of Andrews, Texas.  The spotlight brightly illuminates the Waste Control Specialists (WCS) Andrews facility.  Tons of "low-level, non-life threatening" radioactive waste have been and are being dumped into a huge pit dug into the Andrews County country side.  Where was the BLAM when THIS little operation was being...well...dumped on the people of Texas?  What if someone ran to the BLAM and told them that the Brown Sand Dune Lizard was running up and down the pits and along the grounds around the WCS facility, and that the mud holes and springs in the bottom of the pits were teeming Pecos Assiminea Snails?  Would the BLAM come riding into the Permian Basin in all their blazing glory, astride their beautiful white stallions, and HALT the operations of WCS Andrews?  Would Mr. Robinson grab Harold Simmons by the collar and tell him, "No more, you Villain!"  No, I think this little melodrama would suddenly slam to a screeching halt.  Mr. Villain Simmons would send the BLAM packing back to Albuquerque and the "National Solution" for our "nuculer" (sorry, Bush the Second!) waste problem would continue, unabated.

It is a shame that the federal government, noble intentions notwithstanding, is so willing to go to extreme means to protect these little animals from the EVIL PETROLEUM INDUSTRY, while that SAME federal government turns a blind eye to LONG TERM killing of the West Texas Desert and the Ogallala Aquifer, and the disastrous consequences that will inevitably fall on the future residents of the area, as well as those that will depend on the Ogallala for their water supply.  Yes, the BLAM is protecting our lizards and snails from the hazards of petroleum exploration and recovery, while NO FEDERAL AGENCY is protecting actual PEOPLE from the evils wrought by Harold Simmons and company at WCS.

Finally, I fear that that comical and fascinating bird, the roadrunner, will end up on some federal "predator" control list when the BLAM determines that the Chaparral does indeed pose a threat to the Brown Sand Dune Lizard.  I can imagine yearly "control hunts" to keep the roadrunner population in check and out of the poor lizard's habitat.  Too bad the Fed does not have the same concern for the habitats of its citizens.