Wiser at 50? Life STILL Seems So Unfair

I remember as a child that many times when I did not get my way, or something did not turn out the way I wanted, I told anyone who would listen, "That's not fair!"  Usually the person listening was my mother, and she would say, "Sweetie, life isn't always fair."  I have to confess that at the time that answer did not satisfy a young child very well.  But life went on, and the longer it went, the more "unfair" it seemed.  There were all sorts of "unfairness."  I was never the most popular kid in school...that was unfair.  Other kids had more and better things than I did.  That was SO unfair.  And sometimes some other guy got the girl I wanted...that was REALLY unfair! Granted, I did not have a car at the time, and no driver's license either, but still, it was unfair.  Then something happened, and I had my first REAL understanding of how unfair life could be.

Sometime around 1977 there was a terrible automobile accident.  Three friends of mine were in the car although none of them were legally old enough to drive at the time.  One of the young men was killed, the second severely injured and permanently disabled.  The third escaped with only a minor injury.  They were all doing the same thing at the time, which was drinking alcohol and racing around on a country road.  I was so glad that only one friend was killed, but I thought it was so unfair that ANYONE was killed.  Another friend was no longer able to play sports in school.  That was so unfair.  I know all of us have seen or experienced many things in life that seemed so unfair, and in fact these things WERE unfair.  But life went on, and so did the unfair things.

In my twenties I got "wise."  I mean that I had heard so many times from my parents, other older adults, and even from my peers, that life was "unfair" and that just the way it was.  I had also read in the Good Book that the Lord had planned our days and counted them even before we were born (see Psalms 139:13-16).  There are other Psalms and other Bible verses that impart essentially the same thought: God or the Creator or whatever you choose to call IT knew our days before we were born because he planned our days, the number of our years, etc.  In other words, our Creator predestined us and knew before we were even born what the years would bring to each one of us.  Then one day I made the statement that if God PLANNED our days, then he knew what all good...and bad...would come our way.  And further, if He were a "good God," why would he choose to LET the bad happen to us?  When I expressed this idea that day, I was quickly brought back in line by some "elders" or more mature Christians chosen to lead the church, or care for the "flock."  I was told that God brought the good things and that Satan brought the bad.  Or occasionally God needed to teach us a lesson, and somehow it took a "bad" event to do it.  A short time later my second-born child died shortly after birth.  I was so mad at God, but everyone told me the same thing.  God only brought good, therefore Satan must have brought the bad. That answer seemed sound, and satisfied me for some years to come.  That brings me to "today."

Today I am over fifty years old, and I realized just recently that life is STILL just as unfair as it ever was.  But I realized something else as well.  I realized that my "pat" answer of thirty years ago was not serving me very well as a post-fifty year old.  I also realized that none of my questions were any different from those of thirty years ago, or even from those of my childhood.  I am still so often times confused and dismayed at the unfairness of life.  I think back to a sweet girl I knew in high school, and still know, who lost her mother not too long ago, and then lost another close relative in a tragic criminal attack.  There was another sweet girl from the same high school who married someone she loved with all her heart.  Yet that person turned on her and murdered her.  Where is the fairness in all this?  As I work at a local hospital I see all kinds of unfair things.  For instance, I see a family lose a young child to a common childhood disease.  I see another family who did not lose their child; instead the child, who looks like a fifteen year-old, but because of a terrible and rare disabling disease, is actually twenty-five years old and totally disabled.  He was born with the disease that robbed him of his childhood, and adulthood as well, and robbed his parents of the joy that this young man could have provided.  I know the parents love him, as they proved while they devoted themselves to his every need.  Yet what sorrow they must have felt for him and endured for him over the years.  Again, where is the fairness?  Why was this family selected to receive this tragic circumstance?

Wise King Solomon, the Ecclesiastes writer, tells us that all is vanity, and that the best a person can do is to serve the Lord in all the person does.  Solomon, though, brings my query back in a complete circle.  Again I have to ask, where is the fairness of it all, when some people spend their lives serving God in the way they think pleases Him, and reap nothing but sorrow?  Others serve God and reap silver and gold, or reap other good things.  And still others live their level worst, and still seem to reap the good, not the evil they themselves sow in other people's lives.

This is my rant for the day.  As I contemplate this idea of unfairness, I can only say that I will dwell on it, meditate on it.  But I don't know when, if ever, I will come up with an answer that satisfies me or anyone else.  I can say that I will write more on this later...

If you have come up with an answer, a philosophy, that satisfies you, I hope you will share it with me...still seeking to know.    As for me, I have realized that I am no wiser now that I am older.  And I realize that I no longer "have all the answers."

 

Michael Clarke Duncan Walked "The Last Mile"

In recent days we received the sad news of the passing of a familiar and well-liked actor, Michael Clarke Duncan.  Mr. Duncan played in "Armageddon" along with Bruce Willis, as well as smaller parts in smaller movies, and in TV commercials.  Most recently Mr. Duncan played the book-reading bartender on "Finders," clever spin off of the "Bones" series.  But Mr. Duncan is best known for his role as John Coffey, a Black man wrongly convicted of murder in rural Louisiana during the Great Depression.  John Coffey/Duncan was a man of great size and strength but who turned out to be a gentle giant.  He was innocent of the charges against him, but preferred death to the prospect of eternal life in a world full of hate and fear.  Eventually Tom Hanks, the superintendent of the "Green Mile" discovers that Coffey has a special gift, and that he is innocent of the rape and murder of the two little girls.  Just before his execution, John Coffey uses his gift to bring two evil men, a sadistic prison guard and a twisted murderer, to their own special kind of justice.  He also transfers his gift to Tom Hanks, who tells the story of John Coffey and The Green Mile in flash back.  Michael Clarke Duncan was a special actor and will certainly missed in the entertainment world, and by this blogger as well.  I wish comfort to his family.  RIP Michael Clarke Duncan.     
 

September 11th

Today, as as we have for the past ten years, many of us all over the United States and around the world paused to remember that fateful and terrible day in 2001.  I am not among the number that lost friends and loved ones that day, but I hold out those people in my prayers and my thoughts.  I fall into the category that the vast majority of Americans do, that of saddened neighbor and fellow American, kin in spirit to those lost on that infamous day that started out so quiet and so beautiful.  I know in West Texas on that particular morning the skies were of the bluest blue.  I believe that beautiful blue came to represent the steadfast resolve that Americans came to feel in the face of the most tragic and infamous day since the Japanese military attacked Pearl Harbor in 1941.  Americans came together and united against a very elusive foe, while at the same time refusing to cower in some safe shelter.  No, instead Americans pursued the perpetrators, capturing some, killing others, and finally killing Osama, Son of Ladin, himself, the one believed to be the author of the 9/11 attacks.

Today, we pause once again to remember the fallen heroes and the fallen "ordinary" Americans who died both on the ground and in the various aircraft.  Of the people I talked with today, they to a person could remember exactly where they were and what they were doing as the news of the tragedy filtered its way across the nation.  Whether at work, driving down the highway, in school, or at home, that moment was burned indelibly into our lives.  The terror, the anxiety, all the questions, were brought to mind today.  The feelings, the memories, the anger, were all suddenly fresh, suddenly just as strong, just as real as on that day in 2001. This blog will be a short one...there is not much to say that has not be said and repeated by all the news services today.  I just wanted to add my own remembrance of all the brave Americans who lost their lives that day, all the equally brave Americans who did their best to rescue to their neighbors and friends.  I salute all these people from the bottom of my heart.  Many questions remain to this day concerning the why's, how's. and who's of that terrible day, but there is no question that all our neighbors who fell that day are true heroes, true Americans, true human embodiments of those great colors - Red, White, and Blue - those great colors that never fade, and never run.  I am proud to be an American, and proud to say to our brave departed friends, We are still here, Still strong, Still Standing...and we still, and will always, hold your memory in our hearts.  God Bless the Red, White, and Blue.

Do You Want War With IRAN? Vote "Yes" With Your Vote For Obama

President Obama has made it clear with his posturing over the past couple of days that, as far as he is concerned, war with Iran is inevitable.  According to the Obama Administration, Iran has committed various international crimes and is not responding to "sanctions."  As proof of what I am saying, you may simply read about the repositioning of various elements of the US Navy and Air Force to the Persian Gulf area.  You can also read the newspapers or news articles on the Internet and see how Obama has ramped up his rhetoric, and how Hillary Clinton is telling us that we have done all we can, but to no avail.  War is imminent. 

Oh, you say, but President Ahmadinejad of Iran has NUCLEAR WEAPONS!  Guess what...so do WE!  And we have used two of ours over the years.  Our own President Johnson debated dropping a couple on that oh, so dangerous enemy, North Viet Nam in the late Sixties.  So far, Iran's little Hot Pepper has done nothing but rattle his sabre.  And history has shown us that when Ahmadinejad DOES gain some military advantage, we can depend on our friends in Israel to conduct a precision air raid or two, and the problem is gone.

But Iran has CHEMICAL WEAPONS!  Again, so do we.  And so do many other nations.  Iran may have used chemical agents against the Iraqis in their late war.  But we also know that on some occasions, the "chemical factories" that the United States attacked in Iraq were found to be powdered milk factories when American authorities and those from other nations inspected the remains of the bombed-out facilities.

But what they are NOT saying out loud is that Iran has OIL!  So does the United States, but why should we use up our own supply when the oil fields of Iran are there for the taking!  When you talk about oil, you are truly talking about the genuine reason that we "need" to attack Iran.  Again, if you think I am just being "reactionary," just read a few news stories in the various media.  You can put two and two together for yourself. 

My friends, I firmly believe that war with Iran is inevitable, too.  President Obama will give the order to attack regardless of whether or not President Ahmadinejad gives in to world sanctions.  In fact, the only action that would save Iran from a United States military attack would be for the Iranians to simply allow the United States to occupy that nation and take over the management of Iran's petroleum production.  As for Mr. Ahmadinejad, it seems a very real possibility that he might one day attract the attention of a passing US drone aircraft.  Wear your hardhat, President Ahmadinejad.

As for you and I, citizens of this great nation, we are intelligent enough to know that Iran represents no threat to the United States.  We are smart enough to realize that Iran's "crime" is possessing a disproportionate part of the world's crude oil supply.  And we are able to demand of our Congress that no money be apportioned or disbursed for any purpose relating to the war with Iran.  The Iranian people have done nothing to you or me.  Yes there are some fanatic Muslims there, as there are in Iraq, in Lebanon, in Syria, in Saudi Arabia, and yes, even here in the good ol' US of A.  Are we going to bomb all those locations as well?  Then let's put England and France on the list, too.  Plenty of Iranians in those locales. 

A vote for President Obama in the coming election assures that this scenario, this war with Iran, will take place.  Maybe Mitt Romney would pursue war with Iran as well, but at least we do not KNOW that for sure at this point.  Again, I hope you will do your own research concerning Obama's agenda with Iran, and then draw your own conclusions.  If, after reading his rhetoric, and that of his appointees, particularly Ms. Clinton, you can still in good conscience vote for him, than do as you will.  But I intend to vote against war with Iran, that is, I will not vote for Obama.  And I will do as I say, by letting all my representatives know how strongly I oppose the coming war with Iran, and that I recognize that war for what it is...a subterfuge to gain access to Ahmadinejad's oil.

 

Lower Taxes? Yes, in Midland County, Texas!

Midland County commissioners have decided to lower the tax rate for Midland County property owners, on what one of the commissioners labelled a "massive" scale.  When commissioners found that projected revenues for the coming fiscal year would result in a major budget surplus, they did an amazing thing: They lowered our taxes.  Can I faint, yet!

But seriously, I find it commendable that our local leaders found a way to meet all anticipated expenses for the coming fiscal year, then passed the savings BACK to the taxpayers (read: Voters!).  This action is commendable because it is so unusual for political subdivisions to lower taxes in the face of a financial surplus.  The "business as usual" approach would have been to seek out new things to buy or new programs to initiate.  Instead, our commissioners decided to give the people a break. 

I wonder how many other counties in Texas COULD also lower their property tax rates and still meet their budgetary needs, whether there is a major surplus or not.  A booming economy and the corresponding increase in population often creates a rise in property values.  This is what has happened in Midland County, as well as in several other counties that make up the oil patch known as the Permian Basin.  I hope the commissioners in these other counties will follow Midland's example.  The oil companies are benefiting from the current boom, so there is no reason that the "trickle down effect" should not provide some relief to local residents in the form of reduced taxes.

In some areas, various cities and counties have filed for bankruptcy.  Particularly in California, where taxes are high and property values are even higher, there should be no reason for political subdivisions to be bankrupt.  Unfortunately, government "surplus" (Unspent Tax Revenues) often leads to the creation of unnecessary and/or unsustainable government programs.  Many such programs are born with the best of intention, but due to many factors, the cost involved grows beyond that originally anticipated.  But public programs, once born, are so difficult to rein in when costs rise beyond reason, because politicians who want their jobs dare not vote to terminate these kinds of programs.  Thus, in California and other states, we see city and county governments filing for bankruptcy while some states hover at the brink of financial disaster as well.

I commend the commissioners of Midland County for making the decision to lower our taxes.  I know there were many things that this "extra" money (OUR TAXES) could have paid for.  I also realize in time the local taxes will have to be raised again.  The oil boom in West Texas will not last forever.  As the profits fall, oil companies will begin sending their workers out of the area, or laying some of them off.  But because of the sound decisions of the current Commissioners Court, the impact of the slowing economy will not be so great on taxpayers. Since county funded programs are operating at reasonable, sustainable levels, there will not be such a huge demand for increased revenues as the booming economy slows with decreased petroleum-based activities.  Once again, thank you, Commissioners.  I hope other governments, at all levels, will follow your example of responsible fiscal leadership.

End Of Watch: Constable Brian Bachman

Constable Brian Bachman, the elected constable of Brazos County, Precinct 1, was shot and killed on Monday by a gunman who was later killed by other officers, but only after the gunman continued shooting policemen and civilians.  Also killed was a passer-by, Chris Northcliff.  Two other officers and a woman were shot by the gunman.  Constable Bachman was attempting to serve an eviction notice at the time he was shot.  My deepest sympathy to his family, including his wife and three young children, as well to the family of Mr. Northcliff.  I also wish a speedy recovery to those injured in this incident.

As peace officers know, even the most routine civil or criminal matter can suddenly turn deadly.  An eviction notice, for instance, requires nothing more than the signature of the person being served.  After receiving the notice from a constable or sheriff, the person has several methods of recourse available before he can be forcibly evicted from his residence.  Yet eviction service is one of the more common incidents in which sheriffs, constables, and their deputies often find themselves in deadly circumstance.

Texas peace officers know that law enforcement in this state can be, and often is, a deadly occupation.  In fact, as of Constable Bachman's murder, the number officers killed in Texas rises to 6.  At the national level, the total number of officers killed in the United States currently stands at 65.  By the end of 2011, 173 officers had been killed, including 67 killed by gunfire.  Of note for 2011 is the fact that by the end of the New Year holiday period 11 officers had been murdered in what was probably the deadliest twenty-four hour period in United States law enforcement history.  While 2012 has turned out to be a more "average" year, as far as duty-related deaths are concerned, officers are still being murdered at the rate of nearly ten per month across the nation.

According to the people who knew Constable Bachman, and worked with him on a daily basis, or worshipped with him,  he was a very active member of the community, not only with his enthusiasm for law enforcement and public service, but also as a member of his church and a doer of good in the community.  As one of his deputies noted, Constable Bachman volunteered to serve the eviction notice for this particular deputy so that the deputy would not have to do it.  Mr. Bachman was active in his church mission efforts, including taking his children on mission trips each summer.  As is always the case, I am baffled as to why someone with these talents and with such a heart of service is so often taken from us by another person who offers no service or charity to the community, who has often turned down opportunities to improve his life or to help others, who is a scourge to his own family, and who has no desire to minister to people in any way, but only to do harm.  I am full of wonder and a lot of anger that the criminal or anti-social person is not somehow removed from the picture, instead of those who strive to help others and to bring out the best in people, and themselves.  It seems so unfair that a woman was robbed of her mate, that three children had their father stolen from them, and that the police and the community lost a brother and a friend at the hands of someone such as this particular gunman.

My prayers go out for Mrs. Bachman, her children and family, and for the members of law enforcement who lost a brother.  I also include the family of Mr. Northcliff, as they suffered a great loss as well.  And I pray also for the family of the gunman. They were thrust helplessly into this situation by their loved one, and are innocent  victims too.  I pray that the Good Shepherd comforts all of these people, and I pray for the safety of the law officers left behind, who continue to do their work in spite of the death and the danger around them.

 

A (Really Brief) Look At Susan Boyle

Many of you may remember back in April of 2009 that a video shown on YouTube made its way around the virtual world.  This video was of Ms. Boyle's appearance on Britain's Got Talent.  This woman, obviously a "plain" woman of the really down to earth variety, walked on the stage that night and told her dream before an obviously skeptical and cynical crowd.  Ms. Boyle's dream was to be a professional singer and specifically to sing a duet with famed British singer Elaine Paige.  You all recall that when Susan Boyle walked onto the stage, all three judges as well as many people in the audience laughed at her. When Susan told her dream, people laughed all the louder.  One of the judges asked her why she had never sang professionally before.  Susan said, "I suppose it's because I've never been given the chance."  With the judges and audience still snickering, Susan Boyle took her place and begin to sing.  As most of you reading this know, Susan song "I Have A Dream" with such a beautiful, moving voice that by the time she had sang three words the crowd was on their feet and the judges were stunned in disbelief.  I have to admit that I was just as skeptical as the rest.  But by the time the video was over, I was almost in tears myself.  What a stunning, captivating voice this strange little woman from an unknown village blessed us with!

So today I was watching various music videos on YouTube and ran across that first Susan Boyle video.  That particular video has been viewed over 980,000 times.  I was so surprised, and so happy for her.  But did you know that Susan Boyle actually got to perform a duet with her idol, Elaine Paige, and that the video of the duet has been viewed will over 16 MILLION times since December 2009?  Susan Boyle has gone on to become a star Britain, even singing for the Queen during the Jubilee celebrations.  All Susan Boyle did was what many other people have done, and what many more are so afraid to do.  She followed her dream, a Possible Dream, never giving up on it, finally realizing it.  I don't know exactly how long she had held this dream, but it started when she sang in the little choir at a small church in a small village off the beaten path. 

Do you have a dream, a dream that maybe seems so impossible at this point in your life?  Have you given up on that dream?  Many times people will tell you to forget your dream and do what is practical.  Maybe people tell you that you have no talent, no potential, or whatever it is that the naysayers believe you do not have.  Maybe the worst "naysayer" is the one that lives inside your head, the one that tells you "No you CAN'T"  I have to say that I am constantly plagued by this particular naysayer.  When that voice gets loud I sometimes turn to a little book a sweet, dear friend gave me, and I read the thoughts of encouragement there.  And sometimes, when I really want to be moved by the impossible dream, I play once again that first video of Susan Boyle pursuing her dream, literally in the face of people laughing at her.  Whenever you feel a little down, I urge you to visit YouTube and play Susan Boyle's video.  And keep those dreams alive. 

Just a brief look at Susan Boyle, and the great impact she has had around the world, because she believed in her own simple dream.